I feel like I ask if this has been a weird week for you too every week. And yet, it was the first thing I wanted to ask you today. Weird is normal, I guess.
This past week saw four days of rain in a row, which made it hard to get outside and do anything even if I wanted to. Which I didn’t. Thankfully, the sun came out yesterday afternoon. It’s a beautiful morning right now, but cold. It’s just 40 degrees at 8:30, and we’re not expected to get past 55 or so. Fall is officially here in Vermont.
The Physical Form I’m Inhabiting
Starting weight: 154.7
Last week’s weight: 152.6
Current weight: 151.6
WIN. Although it feels like a womp. I was hoping to drop below 150, even though I was secretly convinced the scale would go up. How’s that for mixed emotions?
It gets frustrating that 150 seems to be my wall. I just can’t get below it. So many other things are going so right, it makes sense to ask myself: when do I make the call that this is where my body wants to be? When do I say to myself: 145 (forget 142 at this point; that’s a pipe dream) is too low a weight for your middle-aged self?
If everything else is changing for the better, at what point do you admit that’s the one thing you don’t need to worry about? I’m way more active than I’ve been in a very long time. I can run further and longer than I’ve ever in my life been able to. I’m stronger and I feel better. I’ve toned up and my clothes fit better. It feels like there is less of me.
So. . .yeah. At some point, the number on the scale becomes moot. I guess I’m not quite there yet. Although I’m getting close, seeing as I’m at least ready to have the conversation.
Moving the Form is Fun!
WIN. Exercised 5/7 days this week! Another week of moderately killing it. I got on the treadmill once, Kempo’d twice, took a leisurely, longish walk with Toby, and killed a 2.5/.5 interval session. It was accidental: I was planning on running 2 miles, but hit the wrong session on my phone and overshot my goals considerably. I was and am super proud of myself, and I’m hoping to run it a few more times.
Feeding the Form
WOMP. This was a tough week. I did the best I could, but between the rain and a stressful work situation, I craved comfort food. I just freakin’ wanted a loaded turkey sandwich. And Doritos. And wine. Oh, and yesterday Hubs bit the bullet and released an album he was working on, so that required a celebration of chocolate cupcakes.
The bread (a baguette from a local bakery, so yum) is gone now, thankfully. However, I will not now, nor will I ever apologize or feel guilty about this crazy good avocado toast I made with some of the leftover bread the next morning. OMFG.
It was a weird week and I’m glad I’m at the end of it. I feel like I persevered, and I’m proud of myself.
WIN. As mentioned earlier, we had four days straight of rainy, gray, chilly weather. It’s a fact of life here in Vermont, and we needed the rain. But it does things to people. You get antsy, you start to feel cooped up and out of sorts. And you tend to take it out on everyone else without even realizing what’s going on.
I had a situation at work this week where I needed to maintain and defend my own boundaries. It was nothing sketchy, thank goodness. But having to justify your boundaries (especially when they are realistic and logical) can be exhausting. I feel like as a healer—and specifically a massage therapist—justifying my boundaries becomes an almost daily event. Clients need what they need to feel better, and sometimes it is just assumed that as healers we give all without question or comment. Our life, our energy, our everything is yours to take if it will help you be well. I’m here to say. . .um, yeah. No.
I am grateful that I have tangible methods to help with the frustrations of life: I can hit things at Kempo, I can retreat into another world when I copyedit or write my own stuff. I can cuddle with Toby. I can have conversations with my Husband about anything and nothing. It helps.
I just want to move on, damn it. But I’m not there yet, and I’m enjoying the process of getting there.
WIN. I’ve been spending the last couple of weeks deep in copyediting mode. I got the answers for the first week’s homework assignment and I did pretty well, all things considered. I’m in the process of “editing” a book (not for reals, for practice), and I even broke out one of my own writing projects once again. We have our first online class this evening, and I am excited for it. This past week I also made major updates to my private practice website, adding in some preliminary information for both the editing and coaching sides of my business.
I am anxious to move on to the next stage of my professional career, and I’ve got a bit of “senioritis.” I’m not quite done where I am yet, and I’ve got a ways to go before I can unilaterally let some things go. But I see the end, or rather the new beginning, and I want it. Oh, do I ever want it.
GOALS FOR THE COMING WEEK
I’d like to get some hiking in this weekend if the weather holds. I also need to dig into my homework a bit more, as I’ve been letting it slide the last couple days. Other than that, there isn’t too much on my schedule. I think I just want to have some fun. That’s a great goal.
Total Wins this week: 3
Total Womps this week: 1
I’ll take it. Even in weird weeks where it often seems nothing is quite going the way it “should,” there are wins to be found.
What are your wins this week?