You Think You Can’t, But You Can

Here are the things I have going against me:

1. I am 44 years old. That means that my metabolism is abandoning me (not that it ever was really on my side). It also means that it takes me longer to heal and recover from just about anything. When I was in my early 30’s, it was an easy thing to lose the weight. It literally slid off me once I made the decision to lose it. Not anymore. It’s comfortable now, and it doesn’t see a need to go anywhere.

2. 40+ years’ worth of acute bronchitis screwed up my lungs. It’s the kind that can’t be touched by antibiotics; you have to let run its course. I had it every year as a child. As an adult, if I’m not extremely careful every cold I get as an adult turns into bronchitis. Every year it happens, it gets a little worse and worries me a little more. My Sensei recently asked me if I had scar tissue in my lungs as a result of the bronchitits. I’ve never been to a doctor to confirm, mainly because I’m phobic of doctors (another post for another day). But if there isn’t, I’d be surprised.

3. I technically have a congenital heart defect.  Actually, according to the cardiologist I saw when I was 14, the diagnosis is idiopathic dilatation of the main pulmonary artery with associated mild pulmonary regurgitation. You can read an article about it here. While the Doc saw no need for activity limitations or further cardiology follow-ups, it can still affect me, especially since I’m not 14 anymore. Which is why I have to be careful about pushing myself too hard, too fast.

4. I am impatient and a perfectionist. Not only do I want to do it now, I want to do it right. I don’t expect myself to do it right the first go. But by the fourth or fifth? Yeah, I should have down pat. So, no pressure or anything. The fact that I’ve been working on running 5k since February and I’m barely squeaking in a mile sticks in my craw. I don’t compare myself to the rest, I compare myself to the best and get frustrated that I don’t measure up.

5. I am an emotional eater. Boy, can I pack it away. I can eat a lot. Thankfully these days I don’t do as much binge eating, but it does still happen. I also tend toward the savory/salty, which means entire bags of chips, a whole pizza, or the entire restaurant lasagna dinner, complete with garlic bread. It all goes in mah belleh.

6. Genetics. I will never have slim hips, perky breasts, a flat tummy, or a thigh gap. When I was at my lowest—135, which according to this cardiologist report I’m looking at is less than what I weighed at 14!—I thought I still had more to go because the pooch was still there and there was still softness around my hips. My boobs went from a 38DD to a 34D. No catching a break there.

These are the things working against me. Today, I ran for a mile outside. Where people can see me. I accomplished it in my fastest pace to date.

On the treadmill, I average 14.5 minutes/mile. So, this is better.

Then, I tacked on an additional two miles while walking home. I went the long way.

It says 1.8, but it was closer to 2 as I forgot to hit start on the app when I began walking.

So now? I have a three mile loop all tracked out and ready for me to run.


So yeah, I have stuff working against me. Some of it is out of my control. Some of it I have to work around.

But I’m doing it anyway.

Which means you can, too.